What If Trowa and Noin Were Related?
by Kenji Damasu
Summary: This story has nothing to do with Trowa and Noin being related. Well, next to nothing. It's very insane... don't read this if you like serious stuff. Minor every-character bashing... mostly Wufei, though.


  
  
This is what I call a comical chaos fanfic. Nothing is supposed to make sense, so don't get mad if it doesn't. By the way, none of the characters or titles or products in this fanfic belong   
to me... except Quatre! Quatre is mine! You can't have him! BWAHAHAHAHA!   
  
  
What if Trowa and Noin Were Related?   
Scene: Trowa and Heero are fighting in their Gundams.   
  
"Stop fighting!" Relena shouted.  
"No!" Heero said. "This is between us, so go away, or I will kill you."  
"Fine. Go Heero! Kill Trowa!" Relena called.  
"No, Relena, you mustn't wish for the death of my brother!" Noin yelled.  
"Your brother?"  
"It's about fuggin' time you figured it out!" Duo said, jumping up and down. "Didn't the hair give it away?"  
"Hair? What about hair? Hair Club for Men! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Millardo called from outside. "I'm not only the president, I'm also a client!"   
"Justice will be served! Weakling! Foolish woman! Nataku! Now I can fight! OZ pigs!" Wufei said, doing cartwheels around the room. Duo hit him with a giant paintbrush.   
Heero pulled out a toothbrush and began brushing Duo's teeth.  
"What the hey?" Trowa said, now sitting on Relena's head.   
"Snooch to the nooch!" Heero yelled, jumping around on a pogo stick, drinking some Jones® Soda.   
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lady Une screamed. "The God-damn, I mean Gun-dam pilots have killed Kenny!"   
"No! He owes me money!" Millardo yelled, and shot President Bush. "That's what you get, you communist!"  
"Where's my tea?" Quatre screamed. "I need it, for I am actually an alien and that tea is the energy source of my kind!"   
"BLAST!" Duo yelled. "My beautiful BLASTED Nataku is ruined!"   
"Justice will be served! Weakling! Foolish woman! Nataku! Now I can fight! OZ pigs!" Wufei yelled, somersaulting around Relena in circles.   
"What cabbage has he been sniffing?" Trowa asked, tossing his clown pants in the air.  
"WORD UP!" Heero yelled, and began hoping around the room wearing a pink wedding dress and neon pink lipstick.  
"Phhhhhh," Quatre said, and tossed an empty teacup at Duo. "Scum sucking bottom feeder! Quit defecating on my lawn!" He then picked his violin and began playing "Mary Had A Little Lamb."  
"Quatre, you have got to learn some new songs," Duo said, floating around holding an apricot   
"Justice will be served! Weakling! Foolish woman! Nataku! Now I can fight! OZ pigs!" Wufei yelled while standing on his head and tossing books at Heero with his feet. Duo shot him in the left shin, and Heero threw up on Lady Une.  
"GERMAN NINJITSU DISGUISE!" Trowa yelled while tossing Millardo at Quatre.   
"This is no time to be cutting a tree with a rusty sword," Heero said, and began bashing Noin with a Yugoslavian girl.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lady Une screamed. "I'm being attacked by rabid Chibi Relenas!" A giant mango with hair and very long bangs fell out of the ceiling and used telekinesis to make Wufei catch on fire.   
"No!" Millardo shrieked. "I will right all wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means you!" He stabbed the Yugoslavian girl with a chopstick, and ran away to join the circus.   
"Go Mr. Toho!" Quatre said, and dumped his scalding hot tea on to Heero's head. "All systems are go!"   
"BLAST!" Duo yelled. "So much for that BLASTED idea! Where is my BLASTED spaghetti? I told you guys I wanted it! I've been waiting for that BLASTED macaroni all night!"  
"Justice will be served! Weakling! Foolish woman! Nataku! Now I can fight! OZ pigs!" Wufei yelled while drawing pink hearts all over Atlong with Duo's gel pin. Heero stared angrily at him.   
"AHHHH!" Trowa yelled and ran after Millardo.   
"Omea wa karosu," Heero muttered, now back to his regular self. He grabbed Duo by the braid and the two of them disappeared.  
"Heero? Heero? Where did Heero go?" Relena asked in a panicked voice.   
"It's okay," Quatre said. "Duo's braid is actually the portal to another dimension."   
"Oh," Lady Une mumbled and sat.   
"What just happened?" Wufei asked quizzically. "Why am I so dizzy? And why is there a big hole in my shin?"  
"I don't know," Relena mumbled. "Lady Une, Quatre, do either of you know what just happened?"  
"No," Lady Une mumbled. "Now I've got to go visit Trieze's grave and pray for him." She got up and walked away, but not before giving Wufei the finger.  
"I didn't think I would win!" he called and chased after her.   
"Well..." Relena said, and turned to Quatre. "Do you know what happened?"   
"Yes, I do actually," Quatre said thoughtfully.  
"What?"  
"My beloved, my angel, she handed me this little box and said "Open this when Relena says something like "Fine. Go Heero! Kill Trowa!" and… isn't that what you said?"  
"Yes, I think so..." Relena said thoughtfully. "But who's "your angel" and what does that have to do with anything?"  
"I don't know," Quatre said. "Who is my angel?"   
"Someone is controlling our minds!" Relena shouted. "They must be after you, Quatre! Get away from me!" With that, she ran away. (Most likely of to go stalk Heero some more.)  
"How creepy..." Quatre mumbled, and looked around. Then, it hit him. He looked up.  
"Hello!" he yelled. "Is anyone there?"   
Nothing but silence answered him. Then, he heard a metallic clanging in the distance. He looked to where the sound was coming from.   
There was Heero and Trowa. They were fighting in their Gundams.   
"Fine. Go Heero! Kill Trowa!" he heard Relena cry.   
Then, Quatre looked down. In his hands was a little blue box. He had a sudden urge to throw it on the ground.   
And, he did.   
"Your brother?"  
"It's about fuggin' time you figured it out!" Duo said, jumping up and down. "Didn't the hair give it away?"  
  
The End   
Or is it?  
  
"Hair? What about hair? Hair Club for Men! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not only the president, I'm also a client!"   
  
Yep, it is.  
  
  
Okay, that's what I call insanity. Please R and R. Oh, and go ahead and burn me! Go ahead! BWAHAHAHAHA! But seriously, (or as serious as I can get) your comments would be most appreciated. So, please review. Thank you.  
  
  



End file.
